Saturday, August 30, 2008


My unattractive lazy-person jeans (too big, weird wash, but comfortable beyond all reason) and a black tank top.



A bagel, some Goldfish crackers, and coffee.

"Well, when you get bored, come visit!"

My mom.

"Tell them they should either get a life or go to bed." -Alex

Does custom cash count as purchasing? If so, pizza from Phil's.

A bunch of sweet music you can download for free on the Urban Outfitters website.

Like thirty minutes ago.

Went to bed at 2:30 am, woke up at 9.

Do homework. It's sad that I have a four day weekend and such a number of homeworky things with which to fill it.

The first ten minutes after waking up. I'm always disoriented.


The fact that everyone is lame and home for the weekend. Oh, and that my iTunes is being slow and decrepit for no apparent reason.


Project Runway.


Movie night tonight, probably going to get some homework done while there's nothing better to do. I know if I put it out, something worth doing will come up and I'll be screwed.


Relaxing. Sunday is my favorite day of the week because I don't feel forced to do anything at all. Something about Sundays makes everything seem voluntary.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

there's no need for you to say you're sorry

I've received several requests to, um, actually update, and fortnately I have sufficient time right now. I've been at college for a week now, and it doesn't really feel like reality. My roommate and I discuss this every night before we go to bed while we watch Bravo reality TV. I go to class 16 hours a week, but my schedule is completely ridiculous, and I work every once in a while, which is pretty easy, and I go to meetings and go on walks and complain about the bad food in the cafeteria. Today I wore shoes that I thought would be practical and ended up getting blisters and bleeding in them over the course of a very small walk. It is all fairly typical.

These are my main complaints about the cafeteria:
1. They still haven't gotten their shipment of bagels. I am getting really tired of this no-bagel bullshit. Bagels and Diet Coke are my lifeblood, and a toasted English muffin with cream cheese on it is not the same thing as a bagel. It is not even appetizing. (The plus side: Every morning, I have met a different attractive boy who is equally frustrated about this and we've bonded over the lack of bagels.) (Another plus side: It means my mom is bringing me bagels and cream cheese tonight.)
2. The fries are soggy, not crispy. Although this is good news in holding off the freshman fifteen, it is bad news because soggy fries are terrible. Other good/bad news in this department: The garlic breadsticks are rock hard.
3. The pesto sauce is way too good.

Anyway, I really enjoy my job. I'm an office assistant in the education department, which mostly involves typing things and running errands to the Copy Center. The office ladies are pretty amusing because all they talk about is their pets and Mamma Mia. It is a lot like when I worked with Jacob except that they don't teach their pets to hump people.

My classes are also much more entertaining than those of high school. Professors and I have many things in common, such as sarcasm, finding humor where no one else does, and just generally being awkward. They also say things like this:

On midlife crises: "You wake up one morning and say to yourself, 'What the fuck?!'"

On an equation with lots of exponents: "Let's simplify this beast!"
---My calc professor is also in a permanent state of frustration with the motion-sensing lights in our classroom, because they sense a part of the classroom that is not near the chalkboard and where nobody sits. He gets angry about it three times each class period, at least.

On the leopard, wolf, and lion in The Divine Comedy: "RAWR!" [Complete with clawing motion.]

On Young Goodman Brown: "These people make the Cleavers look like SLUTS!"

Explaining why nobody has ever enjoyed CCD: "You know who can teach CCD? Anyone. You don't need any experience, they just throw this book at you and tell you to teach out of it. You don't even need to be old enough to have a job."

Anyone who knows me shouldn't need to be informed of this fact, but I loved last night's Project Runway. Laura Bennett as guest judge, awesome challenge involving Saturn car parts, right winner, right eliminee. Solidly awesome.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

i love facebook chatting with my mom.

This morning on Facebook chat, my mom and I were discussing the Craiganator's high school reunion and how eight out of 500-some people showed up. This is what my mom had to say:
"We actually had fun with the eight people. One of them was a tool. I called him 'Tool Man.'"

Friday, August 15, 2008

i've got the gift of one-liners and you've got the curse of curves

1. My uncle once: called me mongoloid. Oh, wait. That wasn't once, that was about a hundred times. Thanks BB.

2. Never in my life: have I been to Italy, but I really, really want to go.

3. When I was five: it was 1995. I was in kindergarten, which, back in the day, was only for half-days. I had it in the mornings and I'm pretty sure I came home every day and ate macaroni and cheese for lunch.

4. High school was: All right. You know, it happened. Notre Dame is not really real, and both good and bad things came of it. I'm ready for college.

5. I will never forget: freshman year Halloween. Alex wore a bunny costume with a loofah tail and everyone else came as a public schooler.

6. Once I met: Barack Obama! Well, I didn't formally introduce myself, but we held hands after he locked eyes with me across a very crowded room, so. Yeah.

7. There’s this girl I know: whose name is Sheebs. She is my momma, and she is probably reading this if she is bored at work right now. She says and does some pretty classic things, such as tonight after dinner, "I think people in the restaurant thought I was Tina Fey."

8. Once, at a bar: something happened to someone, but not me. I'm not 21 yet.

9. By noon, I’m usually: hanging out.

10. Last night: Elly and I had quality time together.

11. If only I had: A bottomless pit of money.

12. Next time I go to church: will be Sunday. I will probably get the church giggles and my family will all make fun of each other.

13. What worries me most: is... I don't really know? I can't think of anything that's particularly weighing on me at the moment. I am concerned about the turnout of the next presidential election.

14. When I turn my head left I see: The other wing of the couch.

15. When I turn my head right I see: The end table with the lamp on it.

16. You know I’m lying when: I'm refraining from making mean jokes.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: not much, because I wasn't born yet, although I really wish I had been around for the peak of the John Hughes era.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Cordelia from King Lear, because: A. I don't curr, and B. I do what I want. And nobody's ever going to marry me for my money.

19. By this time next year: I'll be preparing for my second year of college.

20. A better name for me would be: not any I can think of at the moment.

21. I have a hard time understanding: chemistry. Seriously... what the fuck?

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: be there in five days. YIKES.

23. You know I like you if: I make fun of you.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: My parents.

25. Take my advice, never: try to super-glue a plastic headband and expect it to be an effective solution.

26. My ideal breakfast is: French toast.

27. A song I love but do not have is: "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. It was actually sad how quickly I pulled that out.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: come see me! If you're not going to do that, I guess you could... do something that is not worth doing.

29. Why won’t people: grow up.

30. If you spend a night at my house: you will get to experience my crazy family and other such excitement.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: I have no idea what this question really means. Like, calling off the wedding or putting it on hold? Confusing.

32. The world could do without: discrimination.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: snort cocaine.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: I don't know! This is too hard this close to my bedtime.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: many a thing.

36. If I do anything well it’s: sarcasm.

37. I can’t help but: realize how much I have left to do before I move.

38. I usually cry: when I'm mad.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: think for yourself! Ask questions; don't accept things as fact just because they've been spoon-fed because it's the easiest way to become mentally stagnant.

40. And by the way: I'm beat.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Thursday, August 7, 2008

being behind the curve

So, Elly and I finally saw The Dark Knight tonight and it was very, very good. Not the greatest movie ever made, but still awesome. It was so easy to become completely absorbed in it, and I have many a thought to share:

1. This movie is so intense. I blinked roughly four times. Which is even more impressive when you consider that I cried three times.

2. Heath Ledger's performance is as ridiculous and amazing as everyone says, but you don't really think of it as "Heath Ledger's performance" when you're watching the movie. He completely becomes the character, who is totally out of his freaking mind.

3. Maggie Gyllenhaal schools Katie Holmes. She has an actual presence and fits the character so well. Also, her wardrobe is awesome.

4. Gotham license plates look like FIB plates. Was that intentional?

5. Also... Anthony Michael Hall is in this movie. That made me really happy even though I didn't realize it was him until I was driving home from the theater.

6. I think Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman are maybe the best part of the movie. I know, I'm supposed to say that Heath Ledger was the best part, and he was amazing, but I love those three. Like, I want to be best friends with all of them. Is that weird?

7. I can't wait for the next installment, and I'm really interested to see what they do with it and trying to figure out how it works with contract information. I'm really glad Robin won't be a part of it, though... he ruins everything.

Hangnails are shitty. I promise to be a better updater in the future.