Thursday, August 28, 2008

there's no need for you to say you're sorry

I've received several requests to, um, actually update, and fortnately I have sufficient time right now. I've been at college for a week now, and it doesn't really feel like reality. My roommate and I discuss this every night before we go to bed while we watch Bravo reality TV. I go to class 16 hours a week, but my schedule is completely ridiculous, and I work every once in a while, which is pretty easy, and I go to meetings and go on walks and complain about the bad food in the cafeteria. Today I wore shoes that I thought would be practical and ended up getting blisters and bleeding in them over the course of a very small walk. It is all fairly typical.

These are my main complaints about the cafeteria:
1. They still haven't gotten their shipment of bagels. I am getting really tired of this no-bagel bullshit. Bagels and Diet Coke are my lifeblood, and a toasted English muffin with cream cheese on it is not the same thing as a bagel. It is not even appetizing. (The plus side: Every morning, I have met a different attractive boy who is equally frustrated about this and we've bonded over the lack of bagels.) (Another plus side: It means my mom is bringing me bagels and cream cheese tonight.)
2. The fries are soggy, not crispy. Although this is good news in holding off the freshman fifteen, it is bad news because soggy fries are terrible. Other good/bad news in this department: The garlic breadsticks are rock hard.
3. The pesto sauce is way too good.

Anyway, I really enjoy my job. I'm an office assistant in the education department, which mostly involves typing things and running errands to the Copy Center. The office ladies are pretty amusing because all they talk about is their pets and Mamma Mia. It is a lot like when I worked with Jacob except that they don't teach their pets to hump people.

My classes are also much more entertaining than those of high school. Professors and I have many things in common, such as sarcasm, finding humor where no one else does, and just generally being awkward. They also say things like this:

On midlife crises: "You wake up one morning and say to yourself, 'What the fuck?!'"

On an equation with lots of exponents: "Let's simplify this beast!"
---My calc professor is also in a permanent state of frustration with the motion-sensing lights in our classroom, because they sense a part of the classroom that is not near the chalkboard and where nobody sits. He gets angry about it three times each class period, at least.

On the leopard, wolf, and lion in The Divine Comedy: "RAWR!" [Complete with clawing motion.]

On Young Goodman Brown: "These people make the Cleavers look like SLUTS!"

Explaining why nobody has ever enjoyed CCD: "You know who can teach CCD? Anyone. You don't need any experience, they just throw this book at you and tell you to teach out of it. You don't even need to be old enough to have a job."

Anyone who knows me shouldn't need to be informed of this fact, but I loved last night's Project Runway. Laura Bennett as guest judge, awesome challenge involving Saturn car parts, right winner, right eliminee. Solidly awesome.

No comments: