Saturday, June 14, 2008

she says you're a masochist for falling for me

I gained three pounds last night. This is because Diana and I went to the grocery store and engaged in a cooking spree. Gnocchi in pesto for dinner, followed by whole wheat pita chips with goat cheese and artichoke spinach dip and asiago cheese bread, followed by two batches of cookies and light Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. Then we got up and made peanut butter chocolate chip brownies. Luckily, the pounds have gone away somehow thanks to the lovely exercise that is sitting on my ass and reading.

Actually, that was kind of a lie. Today was pretty productive. D and I went to Megan's grad party and had a good time with Megan, Vicky, and Elly. We talked about where the weirdest places in America are and determined that they are: Appalachia, the deep South, the least populous areas of Arkansas, most of Minnesota, and Los Angeles. Then Vicky talked about "Kelen Heller" and how one might use "shady" as a noun after her dad felt the need to point out its status as an adjective.

Then I went to Bayfest against my will. I usually am a laid-back person, except: a. when other people can't be chill about things that aren't actually important. and b. fairs/carnivals/whatever have you. I'm a fan of Irishfest, but Irishfest has weird big nice dogs and Hawaiian shave ice and weird dancing, and I love shit like that. The fairs I am talking about consist of things like: eleven year olds in hooker clothing, people unable to understand that if you go up a pant size your muffin top disappears, pregnant women drinking, people screaming profanities, carnies trying to hit on me, missing teeth, unsupervised children, rides of questionable safety, and a lot of alcohol in the hands of people who probably have poor manners and social skills while sober. And I realize that a lot of that sounds horribly bitchy and judgmental, but it's actually just my way of expressing concern. And the fact that people behaving this way makes me feel bad about people in general.

"Would you be horribly offended if I stayed until the next day?"
"YES. I would be horribly offended, and I would cry in my beer!"
Oh, Sheebs. You are a character at 8 AM Arizona time.

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