So. At Orientation this week, I learned that I am actually way smarter/more academic than I thought. And since I already knew I was somewhat of a nerd and not a total moron, this is kind of a development. For example, this: Oh, hey, did you know that I am kind of way better than mediocre at math? Did you know that I am allegedly best suited to psychotic theoretical calc? Did you know that I'm going to take easier business-major calc instead because the idea of any type of theoretical math is horrific to me?
And my schedule is awesome and could take yours behind the middle school and beat the shit out of it, so, yes. I don't have a class before 11. That alone makes your schedule look miserly and decrepit, and you should probably be depressed about that. Seriously. Act depressed. Now.
"Are you afraid of pickles?"
"Kind of. And I kind of just hate them. And I also think they're just a waste of space."
"My advisor is Karen."
"My advisor is John."
"My advisor is... um. Wolfgang."
"Wolfgang! I love that guy! He's this huge Austrian man with a combover and he sweats profusely and shouts all the time! [Pause.] He used to work in Jamaica. That can't have been good for the sweating."
I just 100% felt like I was not wearing pants. Way to go, nerve endings. Way to be cool about stuff.