Wednesday, April 30, 2008

you've got the moneymaker

So, my dear Sheebs and I cannot stop reading I think this is probably because so many of the e-mails remind us of Amers, who is my mom's best friend and a huge mother figure to both of us. And also crazy and often unintentionally hilarious.

For example: Last week on Without a Trace, Anthony LaPaglia was running around with these sick open sores on his face and he was running around in warm weather with a jacket on and panting and gagging. As an expression of sympathy, Amers said, "God, I am so hot for him right now." She also managed to confuse Urban Cowboy, Midnight Cowboy, Brokeback Mountain, and Tootsie all into one movie earlier that night. So we like her a lot.

Even better than those two examples, possibly the best example: She blames her moderate form of insanity on bio-terrorism. She has this theory that the terrorists are engaging in "germ warfare" in which they target mothers, the cornerstone of society. That is why she is insane, because the terrorists are destroying us from the inside out and beginning with her. My favorite of her eight children, Annie, and I blame her moderate insanity on something some might call "Bacardi." So you can now understand why we like this website and why we like her.

In sadder news, my favorite model was voted off Top Model tonight, for a reason completely unrelated to actual modeling. God bless the voices in Tyra Banks's head. Also: Yes, I watch Top Model, and, no, this does not make me a bad feminist, because at least they can compete against each other in some arena that is not a romantic conquest. So there. Also, I would just end up watching all the products of psychosis that come out of Dominque's mouth later in the week on The Soup, so this is just an increase in energy efficiency, really.

So, even though I am sad, this is not going to make me boycott my second-favorite reality show (Project Runway has full reign in my heart, even after they refused to eliminate Ricky for so long.) And even if I did boycott ANTM, Diana and I would still keep saying "I brought you a chickeeeen" and "I, like, totally eat it on the pavement!" to each other constantly. Clearly, my brain sometimes has to take a break from nerdiness and just look at and shop for clothes and shoes.

Anyway. My tan from spring break has not yet faded, and since my prom dress is strapless, I am now using self-tanner to fill them in. I am afraid this will go badly. I wish my skin would have just returned to its typical shade of speckled bedsheet.

Okay! But I'm going to go. Alex figured out Facebook chat so now I have another distraction from doing actual work!

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