I'm in an insane mood today, and you're getting the best of it. Just suck it up and be grateful. I keep remembering random things that happened, like, two years ago and laughing about them, so I'm just going to share them with you.
Julie, making fun of those ridiculous anti-gay marriage commercials that totally exploited child actors: "If my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle!"
"You guys, shhh! I'm being the Alex Whisperer!" Possibly the greatest moment of my junior-year lunch table, the greatest table of all time.
"Jayyyyyycob! Your cat is a-tremblin' with fear!" -Diane
"My ears are so small. They are like... small cookies." -Anna
"What's 50 divided by 6?"
"... Nope, it's not."
"What does he look like?"
[More classiness from Julie.]
"How do you spell tube?"
"T... U... B... E."
"Did you guys know Harry Potter was in a porn movie with a unicorn?" -Alex's proudest moment
"She's always drinking out of a brown bottle." -written in a Mother's Day story from one of Julie's daughters
"It hurts my eyes to look at you." -Elly, with great distress, at Ben
I don't know who made this, but it made me laugh more than anything in my entire life: