Best text of my week, courtesy of Annie earlier tonight: "My mom wants to see the chihuahua movie because she 'likes dogs with accents.' Sometimes I can't handle her."
Anyway, I'm going to tell you: adults, particularly my professors and my mother, are out of control ridiculous lately. It must be a full moon or something.
Me: Mom, I figured out why my heels hurt so much! According to Wikipedia, which, as you know, is ALWAYS right, I have plantar fasciitis.
Sheebs: I have those too!
Me: I only have it in my right foot.
Sheebs: Weird-- I only have them in my left!
Me: Mom, "them?" It's not a plural noun, it just ends in 's.'
Sheebs: I'm sorry... I'm drinking wine.
Anyway, I almost never have time to make this fake record of ridiculous things because I'm employed at my college newspaper making real records of legitimately sane things. It's fun in a different way. For example, today I got to report the most adorable story in the world and my inner sixth-grader is still kind of bitter and jealous that SNC didn't have the writing marathon when I was a kid.
But this significantly diminishes my time for reporting on this blog the details of my wholly ridiculous English class, which usually just gets inappropriate/out-of-hand/horrifying and we end up talking about things like perforated condoms and doggy style and our professor gets distressed and sighs about how our class is rated R. He is way too nice to be instructing our ridiculous selves.
And I certainly haven't had time to record the events surrounding the Obama rally/French 203 clusterfuck that were the most angry-making of my entire 18.5 years.
Or the ridiculous Applebee's dinner where we turned a profit, or Megan being unable to not laugh out loud at our yoga instructor who is the largest tool ever. Or Diana and I being 80-years-old and dropping all our other beloved expletives in favor of a good, old-fashioned, "for God's sake!"
Or how I attended a really boring graduate school seminar tonight where Derek Zoolander talked about dental school but it ended in time for the stellar premiere of The Office, which made me cry with happiness, so all is well.