sweep the streets that i used to own

Well, I am officially not a high schooler anymore. Which is kind of a weird feeling, as I am blissfully happy to have this chapter complete but because I also know that I likely have nine (vastly more exciting and rewarding) more years of school ahead of me so it's not a very final feeling. This also means it is officially summer, but I do not yet have my summer mood. Perhaps this is because I have been chill and not-caring for about six months now. I don't know.

Anyway, I ended up typing up a few extraneous things I had in school notebooks, and even though I'm maybe a third finished, Anna and Alex and I laughed incredibly hard at this list this afternoon, so, under the guise of reminiscing and sentimentality, I'm putting some of them on here:

"So, Frank puked up, like, all his lungs today." -Diana's first words of our senior year, spoken the second I open her passenger minivan door

Diana: Brian pushed me into Lake Superior once.
Alex: Oh, did you see the wreck of the F. Scott Fitzgerald?
(Hence the title of this lovely blarg.)

"I don't want to be sucky on my wedding night."
"Hahaha, maybe you do!"
"Can I just point out that I did not make that joke?"

Throughout the beginning of this year, it was well established that Al has issues counting change. Some classics:
-Al: Some of the questions on the WKCEs are so stupid. Like "how many dimes are in a dollar?"
Me: That might be a hard one for you, Al.
Al: I realized that after it came out of my mouth.
-"I forgot the value of change!"

The night we only talked about pirates:
-Anna: How many pirates do you know that don't have any teeth?
Me: Um, how many pirates do you know at all?
-"Elton John is NOT a pirate." -Anna, in dead seriousness.
-"Pirates are just like people in the Navy. They spend their time all alone on a ship by themselves with a bunch of other men." -Alex

Me: You can't make fun of him. He has a plate in his head.
Diana: So? I have screws in my arm.
Me: Do you think with your arm?
Diana: Sometimes.

Diana, talking about a girl who had holes in the back of her pants: "And then she was talking to me and in the middle of the conversation, she reached back and started feeling her ENORMOUS butt hole!"

[during the car ride to school that was a near-death encounter for a friendly neighborhood cat:]
"You could have made a sweater out of that cat."
"Yeah, and then I could have worn his head as a hat."

"Tell the unborn I say 'hi.'"
"Tell the unborn I say 'die.'"

"She's doing getting smart she is": the delicate art of text messaging.